i can relate to this…

i could be Catholic for the wine…

confession: I’ve now watched this 3 times in a row.

confession: I’m spending much too much of my time recently…considering “what if’’s”*

confession: I bookmarked this months ago after I came across it, mainly because it would be impossible for me to agree with it any more than I already do.

confession: Instead of always organizing, I have a horrible habit of stuffing….under the bed, in the closet…deep inside of drawers…and sometimes, I have this nightmare of all of the doors/drawers opening all at once and everything coming out to get me a la Mary Poppins.

confession: I could never be Catholic. All this confessing is exhausting.

*and deep, thought-provoking ones, not just “What if I had a million dollars…”!

but Fonz…

Last nite, I had every hope of going to bed early and sleeping through the nite. But for some reason, I woke up at around 4am unable to sleep and ended up turning on the TV. I should have known better, but after counting 100 revolutions of my ceiling fan, and planning what i would wear for the next 3 days there were only so many other options to try.

The first problem with turning on my TV is this…at 4am, almost nothing is on. Unless you enjoy watching infomericials. And okay, I love infomercials, i confess. I even bring UP infomercials in everyday conversations frequently occasionally like… “hey, do you think a knife could REALLY cut through a pineapple that was being chucked through the air at 40mph?” or “if you had to choose, which would you prefer…a magic bullet or an aqua globe?” I wish I could say I was joking.

The second problem is this…TV Land is one of the few channels that DOES have decent programming on that early in the morning, and every hope i had of going back to sleep in a timely manner was lost as soon as I saw that Happy Days was on.

Now I’m not a sucker for all the older programs…Green Acres bores me [except for the theme song], and I’ve never seen an episode of Hogan’s Heroes in my life. And All In The Family? Well, the only thought going through my mind while watching it is…”how in the world do they put up with each other day after day without killing themselves?” But Happy Days…reserves a special spot in my heart…and not just because I once played a drinking game during a Happy Days marathon where we drank every time someone said, “But Fonz….” [I believe it was said 11 times just in the first episode.]

This is why I love Happy Days… It makes me jealous. I want their lives. I want the simplicity they have. I crave simplicity in MY life, but just don’t know how to attain it. Sometimes I joke that I’d like to be Amish, just for a few weeks to experience it…and although I think it would be one of the BIGGEST struggles of my life and i could possibly die without my cellphone, part of me means it. I’ve tried time and time again to strip down the meaningless parts of my life, and only leave the core. I’m especially reminded of this when I’m working with my youth, on retreats. But it never fails, that all my attempts slowly fade away and things become a big complicated mess again. And although I understand that there was still complication in the 50’s, it was different. It seems that…family meant something, school always came first, religion was a way of life and you only had so much on your plate at one time. Sometimes I wonder if technology is what has caused our society to change so much…in just 50 years. I don’t think I’ll ever know the answer to that. But in the meantime, I will continue to occasionally wake up at 4am, turn on Happy Days…and dream of a slower lifestyle. And the occasional drinking game….can’t hurt.

Do you crave simplicity?

fresh starts make me nervous, and so do Clementine oranges…

This page is entirely too empty. I’ll have to fix that slowly with some random nonsense paragraphs. I’m going to blog. This might be obvious, considering you’re on my page, but…oh well. And what better way to start out, than with a list, bullet style. [Which is much less exciting than the different styles of Boom-Chicka-Boom, such as underwater style, valley girl style and race car style* but I digress.]

• I’m entirely too hard on myself, something i’m learning more and more as I get older. This undoubtedly will become clear as I continue to blog. I figure eventually I’ll just change myself, or pursue my recent childhood dream of being a car-wash dryer, mainly because it seems to be a simple job that you can only be so critical of…either you’ve dried the car, or you haven’t.
• I love puzzle pieces, because they remind me I’m on the only thing on earth that’s a work in progress. Take and hide the last piece and suffer the consequences…just sayin’.
• I’m not good with change. This blog will be a challenge at first, because allowing just anyone to see my writing…is a BIG change. I’m kind of a control freak person who likes to have some influence over her own destiny ;] Eventually, I’m sure I’ll learn to chill, and rejoice in the possibility of stalkers….maybe stalkers that start a club and wear t-shirts with my name on them. [Hey, everyone can dream.]
• I’m not going to apologize for anything that’s written here. Actually that’s a lie, but maybe I fooled someone. I apologize much too much…I’ll probably apologize on here, or in my head concerning here, a trazillion** times I’m not sure why. Maybe you can tell me. Or maybe, fingers crossed, I’ll learn in one of my psychology classes. Or maybe I’ll jolt out of bed one nite and discover not only why I apologize so much, but the secret to life, as well.
• I can’t peel my own Clementine oranges. A family friend once told me a story about how someone she knew opened one up and all these spiders came out that had been living in it. Yeah, I know. See..you thought I was foolish, but see if you can peel your own now without thinking about THAT.
• All foolishness aside, I’m much too passionate….about life…to continue to push down THIS passion..and by that, I mean writing. And this blog, my friends and tshirt-donning stalkers, seems to be the best way I can do that…A place where I can write what I want [if only I could figure that out], when I want [usually late at nite when I can't sleep], and how I want [which means with lots of commas and parentheses]. And if you don’t like it? Well, i’m sorry. No really, I am…..

*Vroom-Chicka-Vroom.

**not an actual number, at least I don’t think it is.